epicrapbattlesofhistoryfandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:Randomguy444/2016 Presidential Candidates Rap Battle
This might be a bit too late now... Note: Mike Pence and the bald eagle are in Italic Cast EpicLLoyd as: Rick Perry, Mike Huckabee, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Bernie Sanders, and Donald Trump Nice Peter as: Scott Walker, Rand Paul, Jeb Bush, Abe Lincoln and Mike Pence(cameo) ??? as: Carly Fiorina DeStorm Power as: Ben Carson Dante Cimadamore as: Marco Rubio Kimmy Gatewood as: Hillary Clinton Locations Rick Perry: "'Strong" Advertisement '''Scott Walker: '''Wisconsin governor's mansion '''Mike Huckabee: '''Crystal Bridges '''Rand Paul: '''Louisville, Kentucky '''Carly Fiorina: '''HP Headquarters '''Chris Christie: '''George Washington Bridge ''and Time Magazine cover '''Jeb Bush: '''Bush compound '''Ben Carson: '''John Hopkins Hospital '''Marco Rubio: '''Black screen '''Ted Cruz: '''Liberty University '''John Kasich: '''Lehman Brothers Headquarters '''Bernie Sanders: '''Feel the Bern poster '''Hillary Clinton: '''Debate Stage '''Donald Trump: '''Trump Tower '''Abe Lincoln: '''Dark forest Intro EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!! RICK PERRY VS SCOTT WALKER!!! BEGIN Lyrics '''Rick Perry: Scott Walker? Who's that? Does anyone even know? Cause the only thing people see is you on your motorcycle! I was so popular that I crushed three Democrats. Now it's time for me to smash your little Midwestern ass. Scott Walker: Most popular Texas governor? Your term was bulls*** Your just lucky you live in a state with super-conservatives. I rule a purple state, with one extra recall. You look like Mike Huckabee, high on cholesteral. Mike Huckabee: Don't try sh***ing on '08's runner up. Both of you sucked as governors, need some assisted backup! I hosted my own show, right on Fox News. You couldn't even reach the ballots, so your gonna get screwed! Rand Paul: You had a high profile, but really went downhill. I was inherited from liberty, so you better get tyrannically killed. I'm running because I want to make a change. Defeating the Washington machine, while driving you insane. Carly Fiorina: I think we need a woman, in this battle of the rappers. Unlike some yippy-yappy group of politician snappers. And Rand you simply inherited from your daddy. 'Cause I'm the next VP in this land full of baddies! Chris Christie: VP? You only lasted 7 days. And you were simply chosen by Canadian a**hole like right away. You guys may think that I'm too high on protein, But I'm The Boss in this battle, just ask Time Magazine! Jeb Bush: I'll surely become the next president, my father and brother were. Cause it's Jeb! here to stop Washington Bridge from being blurred. B**ch I've got a record in Florida, ask the party! And when I drop the mic I get hearty! Ben Carson: Jeb, your raps are too boring for anyone to handle. Your skills are even worse than your family's political scandles. The White House needs a neurosurgeon to softly take over, So I can turn your brains into mush like driving you over by a Land Rover! Marco Rubio: I think it's time for a New American Century, With all of you b***ches turned over to a penitentiary. (Click) Obama knows exactly what he's doing Exactly what he's doing Exactly what he's doing... Ted Cruz: Marco, you're the nastiest thing I heard since a corn called my wife an ugly lady, But you won't go anywhere in your human skin disguise, baby. I was born near the USA, so you better stay back, Against the most qualified candidate, your no match for me, hacks. John Kasich: Most qualified candidate? You were born in Canada. So go back to your little Tea Party in your house of propaganda. The whole world knows you were a serial killer in the 70s. I trust Michigan tap water more than I trust this meme celebrity. Bernie Sanders: I'm a Democratic socialist, known as Bernie Sanders. And I'm definitely not gonna lose agains about a dozen Ned Flanders. Because hey, where is the fair share of the votes that I deserve? John, Why don't you quit your bankrupt bank and pull your a** out of Federal Reserve? Hillary Clinton: Gary, you and your Libertarians will never go far, As the state's secretary will overthrow you like the tsars. I got so much experience you can't judge me. Think you can beat me? (Hahaha) Very funny. Donald Trump: Ladies and gentleman, I officially declare my campaign, To stop these terrorists from making America rain! Believe me, they're going to ruin this country! And only Trump, can give you all that money! Then I'll tear down this rigged system so Never Trumpers can all go away, And my best people, can have the best days! I'll demolish the establishment, make their bodies as walls! And I'm winning this race, just ask my polls! (Oh!) Abe Lincoln: (CAW!) ''Really? Do I have to stick to this rap battle sh*t? I'll kill you all harder than I got Mitt! Trump! What happened to the GOP! You ruined everything, to what spells we! I won the Civil War, so best get your asses spanked! Then I'll tear you down like what Jackson did to the National Bank! Swearing at each other on the debate stage, I don't think it's legal! That's of the people, by the people for the people, EAGLE! ''(CAW!) Outro WHO WON? WHOSE NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!! Who Won? Rick Perry Scott Walker Mike Huckabee Rand Paul Carly Fiorina Chris Christie Jeb Bush Ben Carson Marco Rubio Ted Cruz John Kasich Bernie Sanders Hillary Clinton Donald Trump Abe Lincoln Category:Blog posts